The first time I experienced a pre - ejaculation orgasm. which many boys or men have never actually experienced, it was a mind-blowing, leg trembling, scary in some cases, but truly awesom

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My Grandfather died when I was eight, six months after my birthday, and I went down the following year to look after my Grandmother, during the summer holidays, which took me away from been able to go to my friend’s and continue what I’d now been doing regularly at his house, (been able to keep my foreskin retracted all day) or indeed hang around with any friends at all. In the space of a number of years, spending my holidays with her I’d learn so much about myself and in particular my genitals, especially my penis, I discovered some awesome feelings of pleasure, 

The first year I was very apprehensive about being there at all, she being a family member, and I wanting to have my foreskin retracted and enjoy the great feeling it gave me. However my Grandmother took a nap in the afternoon, which left me on my own, and very rarely getting decent weather, to go outside, and also not having any toys to entertain myself with, I turned to my other mode of pleasure, my Penis I’d sit in the armchair, watching television, my short pants, and underwear down along my ankles, one thumb in my mouth, the other, massaging the head of my erect penis, the feeling amazingly awesome. 

When I returned home that first year I began to take chances at home, when I felt there was an opportunity, but twice I’d get caught at home, and in not any particular order these are the two events, and I was severely scolded by my parents. 

One particular day I was off School, and I was lying in bed watching T.V, I had a bit of privacy, I was sucking my thumb, and I also had my other hand, stroking an erect bared penis, underneath the bedclothes I had my knees up, to hide what I was doing, should anyone walk in on me. My sister rushed into the room with friends, (she was only about three  or four at the time) came up close to the bed, I couldn’t put my knees down quick enough, and she would have noticed my erection, but she was curious as to why I had my hand underneath the bedclothes, and they pulled the lot away from me, and there I was with my erect penis in my hand, and she and the friends she’d brought home, were now staring at it, the girls shrieked loudly, and their parents ran into the room, and also noticed what I had been doing And I got into trouble over that, again lectured 

The second instant was actually maybe a year or so earlier, again I was at home, my parents were having a nap in the afternoon, and I was sitting in the armchair watching television, and as I had a bit of privacy, I was as usual sucking my thumb, and had my other hand in my pants stroking the glans of my penis. For me at the time the combination of the two was unbelievable pleasure. Then my mother called me, to go to her, and not thinking, I went to her, I’d my thumb in my mouth and the other hand down my pants, sporting a good erection. When I got to the bedroom, they wanted to know what I had in my pants and why was my hand there, I tried to fob it off, telling them there was nothing in my pants, but they weren’t happy and insisted that I pull my pants down in-front of them to prove it, and I did and they got an eyeful of my erection and my bared glans Another lecture followed. My mother’s ruse was the bogey man he would come as I slept and not only cut off my thumbs but my willy as well if I didn’t stop either sucking my thumb or doing what I was doing with my willy 

Another summer I was again down in my Grandmothers, and did on a daily basis what I’d done the previous year, the only difference was that when I got up in the morning, took the first pee, I retracted my foreskin, now aware that it would stay that way for the rest of the day, and all I’d to do was pull it forward before I got into bed with my Grandmother, (I slept beside her the first two years, another Aunt was still living in the house) not that she ever seen anything, or wanted to . However I did have one scare, with her, she was taking her normal afternoon nap, I brought her in, a pot of tea, for both of us, as I poured the tea into one of the cups, the lid came of the pot, and the boiling tea, ended up, on my genitals, My Grandmother wanted me to drop my pants, and show her where and if I’d scolded myself, I suffered, but I refused to do so, for one simple reason, I had my foreskin retracted, and I didn’t want her to see that, I went to the bathroom, and found some cream and applied to where the blisters were now forming. 

I was doing the normal rituals that I done the previous year, and there was one thing in favour of staying in my Grandmothers, there were far less interruptions. She took her nap in the afternoon, I watched television, with a thumb in my mouth, and the other massaging my penis head, giving myself extreme pleasure.  For maybe a number of weeks I’d reach the plateau of the previous years, I’d get to the stage, when my penis, trembled, my body shook, and I had this feeling that something needed to come out of my penis it scared me shitless the first time, and it took me a while to attempt that sort of high again, but when I realised I wasn’t doing myself any harm, I thrived to reach this plateau as often as I could. This went on for maybe three years in a row, pre-ejaculation orgasms, and honestly they were the best, of times, been able to last for so long! And then this particular day, my whole life changed, I got as far as normal, but when I got to the stage, when my penis began to tremble, and I got the feeling something wanted to come out of it, it did, a copious amount of fluid, ejaculated from my penis, there were deposits over, me the chair the floor, and even the T.V I nearly shit myself, I was in a blind panic, I didn’t know what this was about, I didn’t know if I’d harmed myself, I was going to go to my Grandmother, but thought the better of it. I eventually calmed down, my penis had died a death, and was now limper, smaller than it had ever been, I went to the bathroom, washed around my genitals, took copious amounts of toilet paper with me to clean up the mess that was, scattered around the living room. A number of days passed before I ventured to do the same thing again, and the same thing happened. I was now technically reaching puberty, my voice had also broken. I was probably around 11 or 12 years of age now

One of the last years that I stayed with my Grandmother would become memorial to me for a number of reasons, and one or two of them turned out to be pretty scary, After my Aunt married and moved out of her room I moved into it, I now had my own bedroom which was heaven sent to me, I’d to share at my own house, with four other brothers. This new found freedom was awesome, and how, I up till now, had been participating in a nearly daily ritual in my Grandmothers, of sitting in the armchair watching TV with one thumb in my mouth and the other stroking the head of my penis 

 

A number times over the years my Mother would make the long trek down to the house and pick me up, and bring me along with the rest of the family, to the beach, and then have to bring me back. This became a little bit of a problem, for a number of reasons, as we had no phone, she couldn’t let us know she was on her way, and she would just walk through the back door, some of the family would just go around the back, and look and shout through the window. I don’t believe I was ever caught. But if I was in one of my sessions and someone walked through the door, I’d be in a panic to get my pants on as quickly as I could, and even then trying to hid an erection, that bulged in the front of the pants was hard enough. Generally when my mother or any member of my family arrived, if I’d my foreskin retracted, I’d head straight to the bathroom, and pull it forward.  When we went to the beach we normally used a towel when changing in to swimming trunks, and there was always the fear that it may fall away. The first thing I did when I went into the water was turn away from the beach, so I wouldn’t be seen and put my hand into my trunks and retract my foreskin. The feeling of the cold water around the bare glans was amazing, the coldness of it, and of course my penis would shrink even further, before I’d leave the water I have to undo what I done earlier putting my hand in my trunks and pulling my foreskin forward, 

Sunny days were another bit of a blessing in my Grandmothers. When my Grandmother took her nap, I’d go out to the back and sit behind the shed, I’d remove all my clothes, and lie naked on the grass, the heat from the sun on the bared glans of my penis, was unbelievable, but I’d pay a little for that, in the form of sunburn didn’t get to do that all that often, due to the weather, or visitors calling and disturbing us (more likely to turn up on a fine day than a wet one)  

Up till now (and I was probable twelve at the time) my foreskin, although would stay retracted for hours on end, wasn’t clearing the ridge band, and noticing that the circumcised boys that I knew and had paraded their penises to many, and many times at that, it was evident that there was a ridge on the glans of our penises that the foreskin had to get by. It was also evident that the number of boys, who retracted their foreskins in front of us, naturally to show off, were able to retract their foreskin beyond this ridge. I had also noticed with my own penis that the foreskin was peeling away further at a certain point 

Now I had my own bed, and once I went to bed, my penis was my first priority, and it would depend on who had been in the house that day, and how I had my foreskin, especially if they were my immediate family, Mother Father Brothers Sisters, Aunts or Uncles, there was always the fear that some sort of horse play or accident, might develop, and I might lose my pants, and end up revealing my penis, and bared glans. So some nights because of that I’d have my foreskin forward, so when I went to bed, (or they had gone home) I’d do what I loved doing I retract my foreskin, and achieve an erection, which I loved the feeling of.  In bed I’d stroke myself for a while not necessarily to ejaculation, and then fall asleep, sporting an erection, however every morning I’d awake and my foreskin would have crawled forward and covered the glans. One particular night I did something that, scared the hell out of me, brought me to cold sweats, and panic 

The night that change everything 

This particular night, started as most had, I had duly achieved an erection, was admiring it as I stroked it. However I felt that I could get my foreskin to go back further, than it was doing up to now, and began to push it.  A slight pain developed on my penis as I pushed the skin back, and I noticed that, the adhesion was beginning, to give away and some of the ridge was becoming visible, I gave an extra hard push, and finally the foreskin was free of the glans, but a problem ensued. My foreskin was now trapped behind the glans, which was now swelling up, and turning a strange colour, I began to panic, a cold sweat engulfed me, what could I do?.  

If I went to my Grandmother how much trouble would I get into, the wrath of GOD, my Mother, what real harm did I do to my penis, would I lose it, was my Mother right, was I now been punished, because of all of this. I became increasingly worried as the glans got more swollen, and I was in pain I decided to try something myself, before giving up and seeking my Grandmothers help. 

I took hold of the glans with a finger and thumb, squeezed it, and with my other hand I eased my foreskin, back as far as it would go towards the base of my penis, taking away the bunching up of it, that was behind the glans, I then managed with the same finger and thumb that was squeezing the glans, to eased the foreskin back over it, it took a couple of attempts, as I had an erection, and I had to release, a certain amount of my foreskin at a time, from my hand that was holding it at the base of my penis. Finally success my heart beat subsided, the cold sweat disappeared, my erection subsided, I was a little sore, I then fell asleep. For a number of days after that I kept my foreskin forward covering the glans, I felt a little discomfort in my penis, I barely pulled the skin back when I was peeing. After maybe three or four days my curiosity got the better of me and I wanted to check on the glans of my penis to see if everything was ok, and that I done no real harm 

Again I was in my bed, nervous, frightened as I put my hand to my penis and pushed the skin back, I half expected to only go as far as it had always done, up to a few nights previous, but as I got to the ridge band it slipped right over it, and it didn’t get stuck, I could now freely ease the skin back and forward over the glans completely. The extra sensitivity of the ridge of the glans, touching my clothes, took a little getting used to.  

I now begin a nightly ritual,  for the rest of that summer, in my Grandmothers, and indeed when I went home to our family house, it felt awesome, but for a period I’d change my whole situation. I had up till now, kept my foreskin retracted in my own company, in other words if there was any one else around me, in particular members of my own family, including my Grandmother, I’d have my foreskin forward, However because I had my own bed, now this changed the ball game. I could go to bed as early, or as late as I wanted (within reason) and as soon as I got into my pyjamas I’d set things in motion 

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A new experience and another fear 

When I was dressed for bed and comfortable, I’d put my hand into the pants of  my pyjamas, take hold of my penis, and push the skin back as far as it would go, easily exposing the full glans, I’d develop an erection, I’d lie on my side, enjoying my erection, I wouldn’t actually touch, nor would I masturbate to an orgasm, I just lie there enjoying the feeling, until I fell asleep, with an erection. The following mornings I’d awake and as usual my foreskin would have crawled forward and covered the glans, which was a bit of a disappointment to me. I went for a pretty long period of time, doing this, and actually abstained from masturbating, for maybe months, until my testicles, began to swell up, and the tubes got lumpy, with old semen, At my own home , I could get away with  it as well, because there wouldn’t have been evidence of me playing with myself. This now became a new dimension for me, just the experience of an erection, in bed, before I slept The following year which may have been the last time I spent with my Grandmother, (unfortunately she passed away) a new experience came about 

As usual I’d been doing nightly which I now had become accustomed to getting into bed, pushing my foreskin back over the glans, and enjoying the feeling of my erection, and falling asleep, still with my penis erect, this went on for days as normal, and then, I had the scariest night of my life. This particular night I did the same as usual, nice solid erection, and fell asleep, but for some unusual reason I awoke during the night, I couldn’t feel anything between my legs, no feeling what so ever, of my genitals No feeling of my penis lying against my leg or my ball sac.  I went in to a cold panic, again the warnings from my Mother filled my head, had the Bogie Man finally come and castrated me?  I finally took up the courage and put my hand down into my pyjamas, and discovered all was still there. A number of days later I’d get the surprise of my life. I awoke this morning, got up out of bed, went to take the morning pee, and to my greatest delight, realised that my foreskin was still retracted, the glans was bare, and my foreskin hadn’t crawled forward during the night. I decided to leave it that way, and did so for a number of days, and the reason I had to redress the situation and pull my foreskin forward was because I had a doctor’s appointment, fearing that among other things